Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
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He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
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I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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