I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
