who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
