If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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