Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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