it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
