"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
