i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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