very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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