im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
