just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You smell like stripper and shame
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
