Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Two words: nipple clamps
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