My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
