The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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