It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
