But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
