Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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