mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
