just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
