Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
They took my balls.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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