I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize