oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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