So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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