Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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