Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
