The maid of honor just puked.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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