batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i will never coherently bang her
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did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
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its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year