Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels