I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize