someone threw a dead crab at me
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.