I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
