i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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