508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
