My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
well you can't waste a boner
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
