Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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