you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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