I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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