Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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