Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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