I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
