Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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