they need to just BURY HIM!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
