Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry

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(443): View more from Maryland

So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.

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(712): View more from Iowa

Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.

(714): View more from California

Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."

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(919): View more from North Carolina

He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.

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(425): View more from Washington

Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.

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