Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.