So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
