How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
