Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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