I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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