I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Mom said you looked used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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