I bet he comes in French.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
