I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Boobs speak an international language.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
