i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
