I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
