addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize