dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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