whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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