no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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