I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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