remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
