Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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