If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
