i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
